Kin 131 1 Chuen 1-19-2012 Moon in Sagittarius

We are determined to be right! No matter the consequences or difficulties involved, we normally are not accustomed to admitting we are wrong. Call it pride, ego, arrogance or conceit, the idea of another viewing us as not having the answers, being well-informed and ‘in the know’, infuriates us to no end. The imploding impetus defies comprehension. Why are we so driven by a need to be elevated? What is it exactly, planted in our personality, that drives us to be thought of as so important? Why does it matter? Sooner or later, we must admit we cannot possibly know it all. In fact, it’s ludicrous to even imagine we can know but a minute proportion of anything. We don’t have enough years on the earth, nor do we have the capability of being that informed. Realizing that our particular contribution to on-going story of life is quite diminutive by comparison is really refreshing and liberating when approached with an open and receptive mind. We’re simply not supposed to shoulder the entire world, an impossible Herculean feat to say the least.

Certainly, we want to believe we are the master of our own self-centered, self-propelled, self-generated universes. In the beginning, not much harm involved, but when we go beyond the realm of invulnerability, we create all sorts of unnecessary complications for ourselves and others. Autonomous self-sufficiency fades in the face of the undeniable quivering realization of how quickly a moment of robust life can transform into an ‘all or nothing’ leap into the unspeakable abyss. Without a second’s notice, our smug lives can be transformed from ruling supremacy to ravaged, tormented ‘smashed to smithereens’ imperceptible dust. We are shown, without a smidgen of hesitation or doubt, just how insignificant we are in the scheme of things.

When facing death, of ourselves or those who are the closest to us, by/through the grips of a debilitating deteriorating disease, a gut-wrenching, unfathomable truth cuts through to the core of our superfluous facade of strength and intelligence. We are immediately brought down to the level of unmistakable coldblooded awakening: we are powerless, incompetent, totally unintelligent and immeasurably incapable of controlling or changing one iota of what is to be. In other words: we don’t have the answers; we never did. ‘Pretending to know’ crumbles like stale cornbread. We can get mad, glad or indifferent; it does not alter one breath of the impending hopelessness associated.

What can we do at this point? Cling to the present stark hint of reality, that maybe, just maybe, we are all part of an intricately connected divine grand scheme, which we are graciously allowed to take part in, as incomprehensible contributory factors, in the sanctified whole which matters in some way that satisfies and completes our soul’s ruthless purpose. While in the midst of the horrific whirlwind of devastating emotional/psychical havoc, our incalculable selfishness emerges with such ferocious vengeance, we are surprised by the unjustified anger we harbor toward a loving god, we have either served or, at the very least, pretended to exist for our supreme benefit. We have, up until this point, erroneously believed that if we were ”Good” enough, we could ask anything and he would grant our wishes, sort of like an on-call genie.

Little did we KNOW, he or any other God is simply not interested n our goodness. They are ‘plenty enough good’, already, without our addition. It is at this demolished point; we are forced to move beyond the personal demands to the impersonal resolutions just to get by. We reconcile our divisions of mind and heart, much later. As one ancient writer, Paul, so aptly stated, ”Work out your own salvation through fear and trembling.” Whether the conscious transformation occurs slowly or instantly, we will undoubtedly be ‘changed in the twinkling of an eye’, by the events suffered through and endured. Our hardened hearts will be melted by sheer force of the cleansing fires of trial, tribulation and testament. It’s one of those rare blessings in disguise.

Youth, beauty, strength, sexual prowess and intelligence will fade, but a contrary disposition is hard to dispose of. Our particular paths will be such that not a lot of emphasis will be placed on either one. The sun shines on the just and the unjust. The benefits and detriments of our actions nullify and sustain satisfactorily. Experienced earned wisdom penetrates forever. That is, unless we try to dissect, disassociate and dismember the bits of pain laced gold, you find along the way. The worst mistake we can ever make is to inaccurately suppose we have been singled out to receive more than our share of harm. Not so. You, nor I, are that ‘special’ to get an extra portion. To try to cling to such belligerent ideas makes for rough sailing.

When we release our iron clad grip for continual recognition, experience true liberty. As long as we cling to a projected idea of ourselves, the longer our misery remains. Remember: we are in possession of nothing, ever. Nothing, nothing …nothing can be possessed, least of all the aggrandized thoughts we try to maintain about ourselves. As soon as we set about to try, we’ll lose our sanity, first, then the object of our unbalanced affection. After a little bit of living, a lot of learning and a tremendous amount of loving, we will come to KNOW our obsessions are no more than reflections of the insecure flaws, OUR compulsive NEED TO BE RIGHT, projected in our own warped personality. It’s a simple matter to be healed of such asinine energy. Don’t we ever want to be whole, healthy and happy?